Growing up without a father caused many problems throughout my life. It left me with fear, rejection, and abandonment issues. I was in and out of jail and looking for love in all the wrong places. On New Year’s Eve 2016, my biggest fear hit me like a ton of bricks. Not only did my husband leave me I am now a single mother of a 4-year-old little girl. All that I could say is, Lord what am I supposed to do now?
I didn't know the first thing about taking care of a child. I was going along on this journey with her. But I knew that it was more to life than focusing on how I will do things by myself. I knew that God wanted something from me! I knew that God wanted more of me. And during that time, He began to birth something in me that took a long time for me to figure out because I was allowing my current situation to consume my mind and my energy. I allowed myself to wallow in my bitterness and I was angry every day. As a result, depression and anxiety took control of God's precious vessel.
But Yahweh is such a loving, patient, and good, good father. And by God's grace he allowed me to have my pity party but not for long. He said girl get yourself together because we have work to do! It was not easy, and it was not pretty but being stripped down to nothing began to humble me. And that's when my life began to change, and God began teaching me how to love myself!
"For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly." Psalm 84:11 -NASB